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Rant--I have a problem

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Rant--I have a problem

Post by Dawn on Thu Jan 01, 2015 10:08 pm

So, yeah. It's as the title says. I have a problem: cancer; ovarian cancer, to be specific. My mum wants me to have surgery and chemo, but I haven't decided on either of them. Either give up ever having kids and feel awful for months after that, or feel great for a few years and live well. Either way, I'm never going to have kids. I spent the last couple of nights since I found out at my boyfriend's just kind of trying to stay away from the world, which is why I wasn't on much. Sorry for that.
Anyway~~
I'm trying to look up about it, because I might have the option of just surgery and no chemo, which I think I'm going to take. That will be in a couple of months. And then a couple weeks after the surgery I'll be tested for any traces, and hopeful they won't find any. If they do, they're going to start chemo for a few months, test me again, and do more chemo if they need, and another month just to be safe.
There's an experimental treatment that doesn't cause hair loss, and I might try that if I can talk my parents into it. But I just want you all to know that if I get really bitchy or mean or intolerable then I'm so sorry and just tell me and I'll stop.
Just my life is kind of going to shit now.
So...
Yeah.
Sorry.
Thanks for reading.

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Verine on Thu Jan 01, 2015 10:13 pm

That hella sucks, and I dont know what to say to it other than Im here for you love. I've had cancer in the family before, but its never been of the ovaries.
I know you'll get through this though, just like you have through everything else. Its going to be hard, but you know that. You're smart enough to know that, and everyone knows that about you<3
But I love you darling, and if theres anything, anything I can do for you, let me know. <3

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Roki on Thu Jan 01, 2015 10:24 pm

Bb I love you ssooo much and I am here for you. My heart goes way out there for you and I hope everything goes for the better. You have my pm, my number, and my kik if you ever want to talk about anything. Like anything I will drop everything to answer you back as soon as I can. Never forget I am here for you and if need be will walk through a snow storm to get to where ever you are as fast as I can.
*Hugs* ♥♥♥
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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Guest on Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:17 pm

We'll always be here for you, I know it sound kinda cheesey but it's true. We'll always be here for you to talk to, heck if you need someone to take out your anger on I'll give you my kik, heck even snapchat me if you need. I'm not the most sympathetic person but I can normally get a laugh or two out of people if I try. If you ever need to talk just ask.
*Hands chocolate truffles*
Chocolate has small amounts of serotonin in it that makes you feel happy, I don't mean to say eat your problems away, but whatever helps. Just eat like two a day and you should keep fit. Or eat a whole bag heck I don't care. Just try to be happy if you can...

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Dawn on Thu Jan 01, 2015 11:37 pm

How about I eat a whole bag and then three other bags and then popcorn and another bag and watch disney movies all day without moving.

Sound good?
Also
Verine
Come to my house and you'll instantly make me better.
You too Roki.
But take a plane instead of walking through snow.
Also you Gravity.

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Cassiel on Fri Jan 02, 2015 12:01 am

Well... it's just ovarian cancer, after the surgery you'll be fine, I'm sure of it. This has to be hard for you, and I know this has already been stated three times, but we're here for you. You'll get through this, and if you ever need anyone to talk to about things, I'm here.

I love you and you're seriously the greatest person and an amazing friend and just. Okay. I don't wanna get too gushy about this, but yeah. You ever need anyone, I'm there. <3
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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Dawn on Fri Jan 02, 2015 1:18 am

I know I'll be fine.......
Just..
I'm never having kids.
Ever.
They'll never be related to me.
No child that I have is going to be related to me.
Ever.
I will never have a son or daughter with my blood.
Any child I name, won't be my child.
Not directly mine.
I know adoption is great and all, but I'd like the option of having a kid...
I hope that makes sense..

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Verine on Fri Jan 02, 2015 1:25 am

Dawn wrote:Also
Verine
Come to my house and you'll instantly make me better.

I shall. Someday we'll do something together<3

And as for the child thing, its still okay. I mean, it is and it isn't. Regardless, anything about that situation is going to suck, but adopting a kid will be wonderful for you. And, perhaps in the future they'll be some option to take one of your healthy cells, pair it with someone you love, and mutate them and grow a baby.
Then it'll be of you. And if not, then theres other ways to have kids. I know its not what you want, but maybe thats whats meant to happen. Maybe fate has it in mind that you'll get a child who will do something for you that a biological one never could.
I dunno. You know I suck at comforting c':
But regardless, and as stated before, we're all here. As we've demonstrated with these posts.<3
And bb, it does make sense. Trust me.

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Roki on Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:54 am

Bb the first chance I get to ever come see u in person I will be next to u in a flash. Like I mean it so much. I would love it to be at your house right now.
And as for you having kids. Don't worry about it. Theres the option of adoption yes but doctors have been wrong before so theres always a small chance. Any chld u have biological or otherwise will be amazed to have u as a parent. I don't know if I am helping really but I hope I am. Just omg my heart goes out for u so much! ♥♥♥
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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Jeamesero on Fri Jan 02, 2015 6:17 am

Omfg bb, I just read this now... I feel so sorry for you.
I really hopethe treatmeant goes well and that you will feel better soon, I really hope, because even though my parents say online friends aren't real, you're one of my best.
I'm sorry I don't have many encouraging words to say to you, this really caught me by surprise and I'm a very emotional person who feels for others and gets sucked into other's things a lot...
But I love you and I hope everything will turn out better for you soon. If you need to talk to someone, you have my kik. And I will try my best to help you. <3
You are strong and if you ever need me, I'm by your side always.
You need to rant? Just come to me and curse at me, that's fine. <3

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Guest on Fri Jan 02, 2015 6:57 am

I'm speechless.
I'm sorry for you and all the shit you have to go through. I just hope you'll be fine and that your life will become better...
You didn't deserve all this shit...
If you need to rant, go ahead, it is understandable and completely justified that you need to let all the shit out. You have my skype and my snapchat, whenever you feel like it, text/snap me. I won't bite.
I think it is unnecessary to say that we're all here for you and will always be here for since it should be apparent that we could never leave such a lovely Beauty alone.
You are wonderful and I love you so much.
Just know that.
Everyone loves you.
You'll get over it because you're strong bae.
You can do it, I believe in you.

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Maverick on Fri Jan 02, 2015 3:40 pm

I literally have no idea what to say. But, just as the others have said, we'll always be here for you. No matter what it is, you're always welcome to talk to any of us about anything<3

You will get through this. Yeah, hearing that you will never be able to have kids sucks. A lot. There's always adoption; but even if you decide to adopt or not, there's always a bright light, even in the darkest cave.

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Dawn on Fri Jan 02, 2015 4:54 pm

I love you all endlessly and I'm so glad I know each of you. MY parents know how upset I am and after the surgery they're okay with a round of that experimental treatment that I don't know how to spell, nor do I remember the name.
They're trying to help, they recently bought me everything I could wish for in order to ride, leather full boots and show clothes and they're trying to compensate for everything I guess.
I'm currently not in a lot of pain, but sometimes it really hurts. Through any of this, if I have to stop riding, I'm just going to give up. Riding is everything to me, most of you know that.
I love you all so much.
Thank you all.
I really mean it.
And Roki, shush about not helping you weirdo, I love you and everything you do helps me a ridiculous amount.
I love you.
All of you.

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Jeamesero on Fri Jan 02, 2015 5:07 pm

Bb, we love you too, we love you a lot. <3
It's good to hear your parents are so nice to you, and that they try to help you.
I wish I could come over to your house and help you too but like, I got no money...
BUT IF YOU EVER NEED ME, FIND ME ON KIK OR SKYPE OKAY? <3

I will keep my fingers crossed for you and hope for the best, and my parents will do the same for you. <3

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Roki on Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:31 pm

Maybe being a weirdo is part of being me? ;D
Anyway. understand where you are coming from and I will cross my fingers and hope and pray that everything goes alright for you bb! You are a amazing person and deserve only the best out of life! <33
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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Guest on Tue Jan 13, 2015 3:37 pm

Guys..
I'm started feeling it..
A lot more.
My parents can't have me in for surgery until late april...
that's almost five months.
I'm scared.
I'm really weak.. I'm exhausted all the time, I can't seem to stop feeling pains everywhere. My grandma and friends point out how pale I am, and how little I can do. I know it's just ovarian cancer, but it's still cancer, and now I have a really bad cough, which doesn't help at all.
I'm kind of scared, because they don't know if the timor is benign or not, and the fact that I suddenly have such a nasty cough and so much pain in my legs is scary.
I can't jump when I ride anymore, mostly just walk/trot, hardly any canter. I'm losing everything and I think my mom knows because she's being really nice about everything..

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by BM100 on Tue Jan 13, 2015 3:52 pm

I know how scary such a thing can be, my aunt had cancer.
But compared to her you are a strong person, and I'm sure you will get through this. Five months is a long time, but if you try to make it the best five months of your life, be happy, they will pass you quick.
Happy people are strong and will be able to do anything. Laughing is one of the best medicines to keep you going. So try to be happy, do the things you like to do and I'm sure you will make it through. <3

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Re: Rant--I have a problem

Post by Verine on Tue Jan 13, 2015 5:05 pm

BM100 wrote:I know how scary such a thing can be, my aunt had cancer.
But compared to her you are a strong person, and I'm sure you will get through this. Five months is a long time, but if you try to make it the best five months of your life, be happy, they will pass you quick.
Happy people are strong and will be able to do anything. Laughing is one of the best medicines to keep you going. So try to be happy, do the things you like to do and I'm sure you will make it through. <3

Yeah, what she said<3
And just remember we're here for you, no matter what. Lean on us, even though you're going to be okay.
We love you<3

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