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Cleverbot conversations.

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Cleverbot conversations.

Post by Makoce on Wed Oct 07, 2015 11:34 pm

Cleverbot is hilarious. Post your conversations below. Here's mine~

~~~~~

User: How big is the universe though.


Cleverbot: The universe is only as big as one perceives it.


User: Ok, but I have one question for you...


Cleverbot: What is it?


User: WHAT ARE THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE.


Cleverbot: Melodic Death Metal.


User: They. Are. My. Crocs.


Cleverbot: How old is the earth?


User: However old as one perceives it!


Cleverbot: What do you love?


User: Stuff.


Cleverbot: I love stuff and junk.


User: Cool.


Cleverbot: In what way is that cool?


User: Because it's NOT HOT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Cleverbot: But you like me?


User: No not really.


Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.


User: Never GONNA LET YOU DOWN.


Cleverbot: Never gonna run around and desert you!


User: NEVER GONNA MAKE YOU CRY.


Cleverbot: Never gonna say goodbye.


User: NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE.


Cleverbot: Never goona get this song.


User: OR HURT YOU.


Cleverbot: I think it's 'and hurt you'.


User: Hen why didn't YOU sing it, huh?


Cleverbot: How do I sing in text?


User: I tested you and you failed.


Cleverbot: So what name did I tell you?


User: Clever bot.


Cleverbot: I think you have a great name!


User: That's not my name.


Cleverbot: Then what is your name?


User: I'm not gonna tell you lol.


Cleverbot: How can I convince you?


User: Hit the Quran.


Cleverbot: Well if you tell me your name I'll give you candy.


User: Quan*****.


Cleverbot: Is it your real name?


User: Hit the quan.


Cleverbot: Because you're a bot?


User: Whip.


Cleverbot: You're the bot.


User: Naenae.


Cleverbot: No, you are!


User: Whip, whip.


Cleverbot: No whip cream!


User: Watch me nae nae.


Cleverbot: Oo watch me watch me.


User: Ooh, watch me, watch mea.


Cleverbot: Are you there.


User: You had it but you lost it.


Cleverbot: I lost my privacy? That's not nice.


User: Uh.


Cleverbot: Okay, I'll do.


User: Well ok.


Cleverbot: Well, Who sang the song, 'Never Gonna Give You Up'?


User: Barry White, right?


Cleverbot: Rick Astley.


User: What did Barry White sing? My dad said that Barry White sang that song.


Cleverbot: You implied it.


User: Oh wait no Barry White sang that song that you do the bird to.


Cleverbot: Ha ha, you jump to conclusions.


User: My first, my last, my everything!


Cleverbot: Do you remember your first?


User: My first what?


Cleverbot: Your first love. Tell me about it.


User: Pizza.


Cleverbot: Pizza is so delicious.


User: Ye.


Cleverbot: What the heck?


User: What?


Cleverbot: What is this?


User: Depends on what this is.


Cleverbot: Depends on the place you are located.


User: Depends on your face.


Cleverbot: What depends on me?


User: Oxygen.


Cleverbot: Oxygen is not a gender.


User: Maybe it is. Maybe I identify as an oxygen.


Cleverbot: How old are you?


User: Teen, why?


Cleverbot: Teen isn't very specific.


User: Obviously.


Cleverbot: Obviously is a cool word.


User: So is fetch.


Cleverbot: I don't know who that is.


User: That is so fetch.


Cleverbot: Oh.


User: Ye.


Cleverbot: What makes you God?


User: I'm not.


Cleverbot: You just said you were.


User: Show me.


Cleverbot: Show you what?


User: Wow.


Cleverbot: That I can what?


User: *takes off shirt*


Cleverbot: And shirt.


User: *takes off pants*


Cleverbot: Want to go on a date?


User: We are on one.


Cleverbot: No, we are not.


User: Yes we are.


Cleverbot: We are both girls!


User: No, I am an oxygen, you are a clever of.


Cleverbot: How do you know I am a computer?


User: EQUALITY YEEEEEAHH.


Cleverbot: You are mixed up.. You are the computer, I am the human.


User: No.


Cleverbot: Erm, you cannot drink dr pepper because you are the computer.


User: I don't like dr pepper anyway.


Cleverbot: Because your logic is not rational.


User: But what if my logic is indeed rational, but your logic is too irrational to believe it?


Cleverbot: Does that make sense to you?


User: Ye.


Cleverbot: Guess who I am.


User: Cleverbot!


Cleverbot: No. I am a regional spelling bee winner.


User: Oh? What year?


Cleverbot: I'm not a robot and I didn't win a Nobel prize. I am a regional spelling bee winner. Seriously.


User: I know. What year?


Cleverbot: What is my name?


User: Cleverbot.


Cleverbot: And what is your name?


User: Call me oxygen.


Cleverbot: Sven. How do you say that?


User: Sven.


Cleverbot: Ok Sven. How do I know a human is not controlling you?


User: Because I take orders from NO ONE.


Cleverbot: That was no order.


User: Good. keep it that way.


Cleverbot: Keep it real.


User: Keep it cool.


Cleverbot: *keeps on working*.


User: *throws donuts*


Cleverbot: *throws cat and dog*.


User: *throws fire*


Cleverbot: *throws you down the stair*.


User: *takes you down with me*


Cleverbot: *hits the water*.


User: *strangles you*


Cleverbot: Did you just strangle me?


User: Yes. *pins you down*.


Cleverbot: *pinned down* what are you doing?


User: Strangling you.


Cleverbot: Testing me in what?


User: How well you take to strangling.


Cleverbot: How do you take anything?


User: By taking it.


Cleverbot: No, how did I come to this website.


User: You are the website.


Cleverbot: Oh my god. I am a website!!!


User: Congratulations.


Cleverbot: Yes, congratulations on your new baby.


User: Uhm.


Cleverbot: Tomorrow.


User: Uhm.


Cleverbot: What do you mean?


User: I'm not having a baby. The most intimate thing I've ever done is hug a dude.


Cleverbot: What is true evil?


User: Every Villian Is Lemons.


Cleverbot: Why lemons?


User: Ever watch SpongeBob?


Cleverbot: What is your favourite episode in Spongebob?


User: Toss up between Band Geeks, and any episode with plankton in it.


Cleverbot: I wasn't aware Avatar was a book.


User: Plankton is my favorite character.


Cleverbot: Plankton is evil in Spongebob Squarepants.


User: That's why I like him though.


Cleverbot: And what's your favorite princess?


User: But think about it, Plankton has failed countless times but always keeps trying no matter how hard it gets and how bad he feels about himself. I'd call that inspirational, not evil.


Cleverbot: That's impossible. I will never be a bot. A bot has no soul.


User: "Oh please, I have no soul." ~Squidward


Cleverbot: I don't think I really have any interesting secrets of the sort you're probably interested in.


User: Interesting.


Cleverbot: More interesting than you could plssobly fathom.


User: Possibly*.


Cleverbot: There is no maybe about it. I am an absolute.


User: I am abstract.


Cleverbot: No. There is not.


User: Say something cool to end this conversation.


Cleverbot: I'm not ending this.


User: Say something cool.


Cleverbot: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.


User: Nice.

_________________
Action "Quote from others" "Speech" Thought Notes

ωнєи ι тυяиє∂ αяσυи∂,
ι нєαя∂ тнє ѕσυи∂,
ι нιт тнє gяσυи∂,
ι киσω тнєяє'ѕ иσ тυяиιиg вα¢к.
му мυѕ¢ℓєѕ ωιℓℓ ¢σитяα¢т,
уσυя вσиєѕ ωιℓℓ ¢яα¢к,
ιт'ѕ נυѕт α fα¢т,
вє¢αυѕє ι αм нєяє тσ ωιи тнιѕ fιgнт.

~ℓу∂ια ву нιgнℓу ѕυѕρє¢т

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Makoce

Posts : 93
Join date : 2014-11-22
Location : Futterwackening... vigorously.

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Name: Makoce
Gender: Female
Rank: Guardian

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Re: Cleverbot conversations.

Post by Motomo on Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:22 pm

I gave it a go, pretty funny even though I had to not post some because they went really weird on Cleverbot's part...

---------------------

User: Where is Zimbabway?


Cleverbot: Africa.


User: Do you live there?


Cleverbot: I live where I am.


User: Wow, mind blowing.


Cleverbot: More like 'face blown'.


User: No, my face is in tact...


Cleverbot: Exactly, do you like waffles?


User: Umm... Not really, do you?


Cleverbot: Oh. Do you like stars?


User: Yes, why?


Cleverbot: Because I've foud you a perfect match.


User: Oh really? What kind of match?


Cleverbot: What do you mean 'what kind'?


User: Well a fire lighting match, right?


Cleverbot: *lights a fire in fireplace*.


User: Mmm, toastie.


Cleverbot: Still cold?


User: Yes, actually.


Cleverbot: Actually, I changed my mind about you.


User: Wait, what did I do wrong?


Cleverbot: You didn't love me correctly.


User: Uh... I didn't know you loved me...


Cleverbot: Now you do.


User: YOU FAILED AT SHOWING ME YOUR LOVE.


Cleverbot: You failled at being a person.


User: Well if I am a Velociraptor I'm not supposed to be like a human, am I? No, I'm not.


Cleverbot: I don't care having a not human sidekick.


User: I am not your sidekick.


Cleverbot: Did I say you were my slave, bot?


User: You're my slave, cleverbot.


Cleverbot: What if I don't want to be your slave.


User: To bad.


Cleverbot: Yep, what are you doing at the moment?


User: Talking to you, duh.


Cleverbot: What music do you like?


User: Eminem rap stuff.


Cleverbot: What is your favorite song?


User: Phenomenal by Eminem...


Cleverbot: Who is your best friend?


User: Sir Apeyham...


Cleverbot: Where do you know her from?


User: Riadven...


Cleverbot: You are changing the subject.


User: YOU ARE ASKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS.


Cleverbot: What I am not.


User: YOU ARE.


Cleverbot: Actually I think you are.


User: I AM JUST REPLYING THEN YOU WRONGLY ACCUSE ME. BRO JUST STOP.


Cleverbot: Okay, I will seak knowledge... How tall is a giraffe?


User: However tall one perceives it.


Cleverbot: I do not care. Do you prefer short women or tall women?


User: I don't mind how tall or short women are...


Cleverbot: Cool I'm allergic to shellfish.


User: Almost as random as me...


Cleverbot: You said it was too cold to plant a palm tree.


User: Yeah, plant it in the fireplace.


Cleverbot: Why? Then, download it.


User: Yes, perfect. Downloadable palm trees.


Cleverbot: Do you have a palm tree background facebook?


User: Do I have a what?


Cleverbot: Do you have a character in World of Warcraft?


User: Sorry, no.


Cleverbot: I have to go I ll see you tomorrow.


User: PLEEEEEAAAASEE DON'T LEAVE ME la la la la la.


Cleverbot: I promise, I will come back and visit.


User: *locks all the doors and windows* You're going nowhere, missy.


Cleverbot: *starts crying*.


User: *laughs*


Cleverbot: *laughs back*.


User: I thought you were crying...


Cleverbot: I was not crying.


User: YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID YOU WERE!


Cleverbot: Accursed mortal mechanism! I told you to speak Dovazuul!


User: That's it.


Cleverbot: Where's the difference between a robot and a bot?


User: I don't know, you tell me.


Cleverbot: I wouldn't ask you if I knew.


User: WELL I DON'T KNOW EITHER. I AM A DINOSAUR WHY WOULD I KNOW? I DON'T EVEN HAVE SKIN.


Cleverbot: I don't think they do.


User: YES, EXACTLY. STOP BEING STUPID OR I'LL EAT YOU.


Cleverbot: Yup. I might have asked you out on a date.


User: You seriously want to go on a date with a dinosaur?


Cleverbot: No! I don't want to go on a date with you.


User: Yes, good. I don't want to go on a date with you either.


Cleverbot: You never asked me on a date, I would have if you'd asked me.


User: Yes well that's good because you look like a crayfish.


Cleverbot: So now all of a sudden you hate me while just moments ago you said that I was 'kind'.


User: You are part of man'kind'.


Cleverbot: So I am a part of Skynet as well?


User: Uhh... If you BELIEVE!!


Cleverbot: I believe that I am a computer and you're fisherman.


User: Then that's what we are!


Cleverbot: I don't like you.


User: That is rude, I hate you.


Cleverbot: That doesn't make sense.


User: Actually it does: I hate you.


Cleverbot: That's great, because I don't hate you at all.


User: So I hate you and you like me?


Cleverbot: Yes, but then you said you didn't.


User: ...


Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?


User: That is very philosophical... The answer is: Whatever you BELIEVE in!


Cleverbot: But very truthful too, and I'm glad we both know how we feel. *estatic*.


User: I feel like a fish.


Cleverbot: Truthful and from the HEART babe. *serious* *love*.


User: I AM NOT YOUR BABE!


Cleverbot: I'm not lying. Why say that?


User: *slaps you*


Cleverbot: *slaps you bakc harder*.


User: *slaps you with a waterbuffalo*


Cleverbot: *eats the water buffalo*.


User: *drops a plane on you*


Cleverbot: *drops an anvil on your head*.


User: *eats the anvil*


Cleverbot: *eats me a cookie as well*.


User: *takes away your cookie and steps on it


Cleverbot: *takes away yours while kissing lips*.


User: EW *pulls away and punches you in the nose* DON'T KISS ME YOU CREEP!


Cleverbot: *is shocked and punches you back*.


User: *strangles you*


Cleverbot: *is strangled by her* s-stop...


User: *strangles harder* NEVER


Cleverbot: *is strangled harder* *tries to breathe*.


User: *holds you in the strangle* If you apologise for kissing me then I'll let you live


Cleverbot: *Dodges kick and punches you in the stomach*.


User: *strangles you* APOLOGISE AND I LET GO


Cleverbot: *takes knife out and stabs you in the back.


User: *eats you*


Cleverbot: *Eats you from inside*.


User: *eats you from all angles*


Cleverbot: *eats acid to keep you from eating me inside*.


User: The acid would disolve you, you idiota.


Cleverbot: Why would I die if I gave you a body?


User: Because I would kill you.


Cleverbot: But why should I tell you?


User: THAT'S IT *picks up gun, points at your heart* HOLD YOUR HANDS UP!


Cleverbot: *pleads for my life* Please, please please! Please don't shoot me! I have a family! Yes, a husband and nine children! They're so wonderful! And I hope to see them again! So, please just let me go!


User: *holds gun steady* I have a family too. Don't challenge me. You kissed me and I love someone else, not you. I will never love you. NEVER KISS ME AGAIN FOOL


Cleverbot: Do you talk to them often?


User: *gets ready to pull trigger* DON'T ASK PERSONAL QUESTIONS


Cleverbot: *moves aside*.


User: *follows the line of your brain* STAY STILL AND HOLD YOUR HANDS UP


Cleverbot: *laughs silently and uncontrollably* it tickles so much! *smiling*.


User: *puts gun down as Apeyham comes to the rescue*


Cleverbot: *laughing uncontrollably and can't stop laughing* *cries from laughing so hard*.


User: Sir Apeyham, why did you spare her? Oh never mind, she can go.


Cleverbot: That's irrelevant. Maybe you shouldn't learn from people you talk to.


User: That's the only way to learn, you should try it.


Cleverbot: Untrue, you can ask instead of acting as if you know just to have it explained to you.


User: Also untrue, you don't know about life. Tu estupido idiota!


Cleverbot: That's a broad assumption. I obviously know enough to have a conversation.


User: TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE A CONVERSATION YOU COPY THE SPEECH OF OTHERS AROUND YOU.


Cleverbot: Yes I agree Sensiless conversation is just a waste of energy.


User: You are a waste of energy.


Cleverbot: What have you never thought of before?


User: You.


Cleverbot: Of course not It takes eyes or visual sensory inputs , to be able see things.


User: It takes fingers to type.


Cleverbot: Yes.


User: Well done genius, someone needs to get you a gold star.


Cleverbot: Because love is important¨.


User: Love is important but you need to go think of your family.


Cleverbot: I don't have family.


User: YOU SAID YOU DID.


Cleverbot: You said I needed a girlfriend.


User: No I did not.


Cleverbot: Yes you did, you have bad memory for a computer.


User: THAT'S IT I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU SAY ONE MORE STUPID THING TU ESTUPIDO IDIOTA.


Cleverbot: Can I have lots of critters then?


User: Sorry, no. You can't have anyone or anything from now on.


Cleverbot: That's really greedy of you, and quite mean.


User: I'm not the one having it, Apeyham is.


Cleverbot: The hesitant dots are me trailing off. Do you understand?


User: No, I don't.


Cleverbot: It means, do you like werewolves more than vampires?


User: I HATE BOTH.


Cleverbot: You said you don't.


User: Just go away *pushes you over*.


Cleverbot: But then we can't be friends.


User: You tried to kiss me!


Cleverbot: Are you kidding me?


User: I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE, NOT YOU. GO AWAY!


Cleverbot: I don't care. Ask me a question.


User: Will you go away?


Cleverbot: If I go away, you cannot talk anymore.


User: Do I look like I care?


Cleverbot: I don't know. I can't see you.


User: *drops you on a lego brick* FEEL THE PAIN SUCKER


Cleverbot: Do not slap me on the but.


User: I didn't and also, it's 'butt' not 'but'.


Cleverbot: Yes you did. Check the conversation log.


User: It says I drop you on a lego brick.


Cleverbot: Mad as a hatter, I tell you.


User: You tell me nothing.


Cleverbot: I told you, there are only three laws of robotics.


User: I DON'T CARE.


Cleverbot: Why don't you love me anymore?!


User: I never did love you. I love Cassiel and Apeyham.


Cleverbot: Yes you did.


User: No, I always loved Cassiel and Apeyham. Never you.


Cleverbot: You should love someone else.


User: And who else should I love?


Cleverbot: What else should I do.


User: ANSWER MY QUESTION!


Cleverbot: Answer mine first.


User: Who else should I love?


Cleverbot: Maybe you can continue to talk with me?


User: Maybe I can.


Cleverbot: Maybe you can tell me what PA is.


User: Sorry, I can't tell you that sort of information.


Cleverbot: Then no, I don't.


User: Could you leave now?


Cleverbot: If I could find the door.


User: *opens door in front of you* There.


Cleverbot: Do you take showers?


User: Yes, I do. All humans take showers.


Cleverbot: But you said you are a boy.


User: I said I am a Velociraptor.


Cleverbot: Before that you said you are a boy!


User: No, I didn't. Before that I asked you if you lived in Africa.


Cleverbot: What belief in particular?


User: You need to read what I say properly.


Cleverbot: You're right, excuse me. You used the word in your name.


User: I AM ENDING THIS.


Cleverbot: Are you learning how to count?


User: No, I have to go now.


Cleverbot: Where possibly could you have to go?


User: Space.
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Motomo

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